i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
