You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
