His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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