You smell like stripper and shame
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
