She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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