no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
