So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
