i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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