After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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