considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
