A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I pour the whiskey from now on
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
