I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
