WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
