When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
