Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
