i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
