Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
