do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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