i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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