Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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