Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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