Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
