Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
