i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
