why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
