everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
