I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
