I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
