i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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