people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You need Xanax blowdarts
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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