I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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