Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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