my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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