Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
