Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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