This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
