Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
