She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
