he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm just crazy horny about you
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
