garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Your tits are I can't wait for
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
