oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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