Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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