There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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