I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
