I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
