His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
