You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
