shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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