Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
