We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
