you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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