i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
