I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
