i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
