Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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