I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
